I’m currently 31 years old. I’ve never had an abortion, as I have never been pregnant.
As an emotionally sensitive child, I spent a good amount of my childhood observing how exhausted the adults around me were. My parents were divorced and I was keen enough to pick up on the fact that my presence was often a burden. I internalized a lot of those messages when I was younger, and to this day I still struggle with feelings of worthiness.
Because of this, I have always known that children were not part of my life path.
I started on birth control when I was 17. The first product I used was Nuvaring which doubled in price from $40 to $80 / month in the 2.5 years I was on it (2007-2010).
I got my first Mirena IUD when I was 20. I replaced it when I was 27, and removed the second one right before my 31 birthday. All together, I paid approximately $4,500 out of pocket for 13 years of birth control – it was NEVER covered by my insurance.
In July of last year I found out I had precancerous cells on my cerevix. I had my IUD removed and my doctor wrote a prescription to go back on the Nuvaring. After doing my own research I decided the best approach for my health was to cease hormonal birth control, quit smoking (after 15 years) and begin a fairly aggressive supplement regiment.
Thus for the first time in my adult life I’m not on birth control SOLELY because research shows that it contributes to the growth of these harmful cells.
It’s been about 10 months since I’ve been off it & I haven’t had a pregnancy scare. Which isn’t surprising. I’m a full fledged adult. I understand the mechanics of conception & contraception. I’m in a committed monogamous relationship and we use condoms EVERY time. There is also a decent likelihood that my gynecological health concerns would prevent pregnancy from occurring.
Thanks to Texas Republicans’ decision last week, I’ve got a new anxiety to hyper focus on:
What if I were to get pregnant?
A right that I have been guaranteed access to my entire life – will suddenly no longer readily be available to me (staring in September). This decision is TRAUMA. As a woman – I have now been blatantly told by my state that my right to bodily autonomy guaranteed by Roe v Way (since 1973 – 16 years prior to my birth) does not matter.
To be clear if I were to get pregnant – this law would not change the outcome for me. I do not want children and I have done everything to prevent the occurrence of one in my body (including having constant hormones implanted in my body for 11 years which likely accelerated if not straight up caused my cancerous growth).
I personally have the resources. The process would cost me thousands of extra dollars though. My partner would have to take off work to accompany me, two plane tickets, hotels etc… (Side note: I’d have the procedure done in Mexico city where any woman can receive one prior to 12 weeks. Isn’t that fucking crazy – a Catholic country – I could receive better women’s healthcare than in the good old USA!?) I can’t imagine having to jump through all those hoops – the emotional toll of course would undoubtedly be exponentially greater.
I’m grateful that I have the access to enough cash / credit that legal and safe options will always be available to me. I recognize this is part of the privilege I have been afforded in life. Many people just fucking don’t have that security. Or you know at best could come up with bus fare, but would have to endure hard travel alone while recovering. SECONDARY TRAUMA.
This law is a War on Women. We have to speak up, we have to fight back!
Its time to say – #goodbyegreg!
With population changes and the influx of California tech companies – Texas will be blue. It’s inevitable – that’s why they are passing all these insane laws They see their time is up. These forced birth babies won’t be able to vote for 18 years – you can’t rebuild your base that way.
This law is horse shit & I will not reside in a place that treats my rights with such disdain. Here’s to hoping my state will be worthy of coming home to after election season in 2022!!
**This blog is my personal space. It is not a debate platform. If you have viewpoints opposing to mine – I encourage you to purchase your own domain and take the time to compose your own well thought out post. My comment section is not the place for it. All comments will be pending approval. We are all entitled to our own opinions, AND this is MY 100% #prochoice space.
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